So you are wondering how parenting style affects mental health?
Let me share some of my observations. I developed interest towards psychology since my childhood. I was curious about people around and their behavior. One of my friends father was a very short tempered person and he used to abuse his wife and children. Verbal abuse was regular and once in a while, he used to physically beat them up too. He used to behave very pleasantly with everyone else except his family.
My friend and her siblings were damn scared about him. When I became close to my friend, I could get to know what made him like that. We will discuss about it little later.
What is the purpose of parenting?
Let us understand the purpose of parenting. Every parent want to make their child an independent , responsible and successful citizen of the country. This is the minimum that any parent want their child to be.
To become successful, you need psychology and skills. 80% is psychology and 20% skills. Mindset is the core of psychology. What constitutes the mindset then? The foundation of the mindset is built on beliefs and values.
Beliefs are like statements, which we believe to be true. It may not be the fact, but if we believe, it becomes true for us. Let me explain, a beautiful girl can believe she is not beautiful. A not so beautiful girl can believe she is beautiful. Based on their own beliefs, their actions and results in life gets created.
Below the age of 8 years, child is very vulnerable and will accept everything told to him or her. They get conditioned based on the environment, people around and their behaviour. Based parents love their self esteem and self concept gets built.
Let me share about my friends father. He had lost his mother at the age of 3 years. His father wasn’t caring for the boy. The people around him made him to work at farm, he was ill treated, abused, beaten by his relatives. He never experienced love of his parents. He grew up without any formal schooling. He had gone through traumatic childhood.
Based on the psychological material I have studied, I could understand that his personality and mental health got affected because of his experiences. He had developed trust issues, he wasn’t confident, he had developed negative thinking and abusive behavior. He was emotionally very weak too.
He had career issues, wasn’t able to take risk in life, because of abusive behavior, he had developed relationship issues with his children too.
Louis Hay, author of Heal Your Life says, “the person abusing was abused once”, which I could relate to him.
What Next?
To summarize, parenting strategies could impact the mental health, especially for the child below 8 years.
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See you on the other side.
